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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A Little Sentimentality, If You Please




My mom has Alzheimer’s.

So our time is precious. My family is very close and we all support, love and appreciate each other. This by no means is to say we are perfect; we fight just like everyone else. We just forgive and move on.

Mom is the most loving, giving person you will ever meet. I may be biased but she never thought of herself. One may argue that isn't healthy, nevertheless, her love was returned tenfold by all of us. I could never attain her gift to love selflessly.

The funny thing is that she was always very practical. My Grandfather was an inventor and he made a great deal of money just prior to the depression. He spent his money on property….Guess what happened? And my grandmother wouldn't let him evict anyone.

He never stopped dreaming or inventing, but he was never lucky on material wealth.

So mom grew up always feeling the need to prepare. To make sure her and dad were frugal so as to give us what we needed.

 It wasn't important to her if we were geniuses. As a matter of fact, I think she wanted us just above average. That way we would be happy the way we were not always inventing, and reaching for the next big discovery.

Sorry!

All those words to share something!

I wasn't looking for anything meaningful today however; I found this beautiful sentiment on Facebook:


Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:

"I love you and I wish you enough."

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?"

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

She then began to cry and walked away.


I thought this would resonate so much with my mom.


I took this as a personal message to me, from my mother.

I always want to wake up and happily embrace the day enjoying the discovery of what can happen.

I want to see the glass as half full, not has half empty.

Life isn't about having everything you want. It is about stopping, listening, and feeling.



This makes me smile as well:

I want to sing like birds sing
Not worry who hears or
What they think.
                                        RUMI

So tomorrow I will say, “Mom your love is all I ever wanted, and always received. I wish you enough mom.”


Thanks for indulging my sentimentality,

Minelle

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A Walk Along The Cornfield

I wrote a little story for all of you. Please remember that I just am having fun!

I am not a writer like so many of my friends!

PK thanks for your input, I tried hard to stay in the proper 'person' 

Sunny and Ana you may recognize some of  this.

And Bas, yes some of this did happen.

Wilma I think we talked about this a time or two.

Happy New Year to all of you, I am so very happy to have made such good friends.

It is nice to talk about so many things free from judgement and receiving many offers of support.


A Walk Along The Cornfield


He was in her literature class and they sat next to each other, becoming fast friends. He was a bit older than her. She was 21 to his 26.  He was finishing his master’s in Liberal Arts while she was just in her junior year deciding her major. They enjoyed discussions on a variety of topics, and could spend hours happily discussing and arguing together.
She kept giving him hints that she was interested in more than a friendship but he appeared to think about her as friend.

 “Audra wait up” John sternly admonished the clearly annoyed lady.

As John walked to catch Audra, she looked up at the irritated countenance of her handsome friend. His eyes were flashing, as he tried to continue their discussion from moments ago. Walking across the campus the smell of a crisp fall day did little to lighten up their intense conversation.

“I am warning you that guy Ray is an idiot. I know there have been suspicions that he is a drug dealer. I am not being over protective; I am sharing information so you can make the right decision. You should not go out with him.”

“I can make my own decisions without your interference.” She made her thoughts known on the matter. It was exciting that someone so much older would be interested in her. Besides she thought if John isn't interested I need to move on.

“Audra he is almost 30 years old, you have nothing in common with him. He is playing on your naivete.”

“Please, stop being so over protective I know what I am doing!”

She started walking quickly as big fat drops of cold rain hit her face. Shivering she willed herself to feel warm in spite of not wearing a jacket. Why did I forget my jacket?

Audra hurried away from John escaping the discussion by telling him she was cold and needed to get to her next class.

The following Friday night Ray picked her up for her date. John called earlier and offered to be around if she needed to call for a ride home. She politely declined his offer.

Audra was uncomfortable right off the bat, since he said he needed to stop back at his apartment and meet up with a few people. It was a large three flat and he lived on the first floor. The living room had a very large window looking out toward the street. As soon as they stepped across the threshold of his apartment, the doorbell rang. Several people came to the door but never entered his apartment. She sat on a leather chair situated strangely in front of the window.  They had absolutely no conversation while waiting for his friends to show up. He actually seemed to ignore her. After about a half hour of constant traffic to his door, they left for a party.

“Um Ray, what was all that about?” Turning in her seat she looked at him and noticed he tightened his lips and frowned. He was really kind of slimy looking she thought.  He had dark hair worn long and scraggly. His eyes were set very close and the shade was a rather mottled nondescript green. His color was off almost grey and pasty. He was way too thin and his very expensive clothes did nothing to hide that fact. Ick, why did I come out with him tonight? There is something unsavory about him.

“Just do not worry babe.” He responded to her question by not answering at all. His actions were kind of spastic and he averted his eyes often. How could I have thought he was cute, she thought?

They pulled up in front of a large house, and parked the car. Walking up the wide wooden stairs they stepped onto a large front porch.

Entering the party Audra was relieved to see many of her friends over near the kitchen. She said that she was going to talk to some friends and quickly walked away from Ray.
A song by Mumford and Sons was playing. That put a little skip in her step. She decided to enjoy herself regardless of how the night started. Off to her left a group of people were dancing in the living room. To her right was a family room attached to the kitchen. That is where she headed.

“Hey Audra” her roommate Lisa ran up and started hugging her. “I didn't know you were coming here.”

“Neither did I.” Audra said. “Ray just asked me out, and after stopping by his place, he drove us here.” I have to tell you he sort of makes me nervous.”

Lisa stopped and looked directly at her saying, “Like I already told you, I would try to stay clear of him. I have heard that most of his ‘dates’ end badly for the girl. Didn't you tell me that John said he would be around if you needed a ride home?”

“Yea, but I really don’t want to impose. I’ll get a ride with someone else if I am too uncomfortable.”

Lisa looked at Audra and said, “I hitched a ride with Mark and his car is packed so start now, asking everyone, than you can just tell Ray you are sick and want to go home. However, if it were me I would just call John; he would do anything for you.  I know you lost your cell but there is a phone in the hall, go now. Let me know if you can’t find a ride, we will work on it together.”

Audra was indecisive and put asking anyone, including calling John to the back of her mind.  Word spread though, and she didn't need to search for a ride home since she was approached by no less than five different close friends promising her a space in their cars for a ride home. She promised to take one of them up on the offer, understanding the worried looks they all shared.

 Unfortunately, she found herself in a deserted room, sitting next to Ray while he relentlessly stuck his tongue in her ear and unremittingly tried to slip his hands under her shirt. It didn't matter how many times she said ‘stop’ or ‘no’ he just kept it up. Audra was getting angry and fed up; finally she hauled off and kicked him where it mattered most. He screamed and bent over and started gagging, so she took her chance and left.

Next thing she found herself walking to the bus stop three blocks from the party. She was so angry that she wasn't thinking clearly.  When she arrived at the bus stop, a bus was pulling away. Sure enough when she checked her watch the sign said the last bus leaves at midnight.

Oh well  she thought, I guess I can either walk the two miles back to the apartment or return to the party and call John. I know I will be worrying a great many of my friends, but I am embarrassed to go back. I feel like an ass for even agreeing to go out with Ray, and I do not need any more drama.

I am going to have to lie because knowing John, if he finds out, he is going to be mad knowing I walked home when I could return to the party and wait for him, or go with any of my friends.

Well she made her snap decision as she walked along the corn fields back to town. After about three blocks she took off her heals and walked bare foot. Her feet were just shattered. It was a good thing the weather wasn't frigid. The night couldn't get any worse she thought, and yet it did. The rain began just as she hit the one mile mark. Feeling sorry for herself she tried to stave off the inevitable tears.

A car pulled up alongside of her, the car carried two young women, one of them leaned out her window asking if she was okay, and could they please give her a ride. Audra new what they thought, a young girl walking alone next to the cornfields in the middle of the night carrying her shoes and crying.

She tried to reassure them, “I am fine, she replied shivering, just cold. I appreciate your offer, and thanks.”

Too tired to offer any resistance she climbed into the car and let them take her home. She made sure they knew she wasn't hurt. However, when the good Samaritans walked her into her apartment, and insisted she call someone to be with her, she called John.
John had been frantic with worry because Lisa had called him when no one knew where she was, and Ray was still at the party.

It was very awkward waiting for him with the couple who had introduced themselves as Ana and Gina. Her dorm was actually larger than the norm since she and Lisa shared a small sitting and kitchen combination area attached to their two bedrooms. Even if they had furnished it with hand- me- down furniture, it was nice and comfortable. She stood next to the door waiting for John to knock while Ana and Gina sat comfortably, on the worn brown leather love seat.

Ana looked at me asking what happened. I figured I had nothing better to do than start at the beginning retelling my adventure leaving nothing out. Gina turned to Ana and said, “stubborn like someone else I know.”  Ana squirmed on the love seat blushing crimson.

Ana looked at Gina saying, "I certainly wasn't that foolish."

Finally, after some uncomfortably stilted conversation questioning my sanity, a firm knock sounded at the door interrupting the interrogation.

Audra breathed a welcome sigh of relief and let John in. His first words to her were, “why didn't you ask who was at the door? I could have easily been Ray.”

I rolled my eyes up to the heavens strangely relaxed now that he was here. John frowned fiercely, turning to Ana and Gina initiating an introduction that I should have remembered first thing upon opening the door.

Gina looked at John and said, “Audra was lucky we happened along. I know what I would do if Ana pulled a stunt like she did.” Her fingers pointed directly at me accusingly. Now it was my turn to blush.

As the girls left I saw Gina pop Ana on the behind saying something along the lines of, “we have a discussion to finish!”

My eyes widened, then I smiled as Ana looked back toward me with a wink.

After they left John took my hand and we sat down on the love seat still warm from Ana and Gina. He questioned me beginning the moment I left my room with Ray all the way to my leaving the party and walking home. I could easily tell he was more than upset with me, for not making safe choices and for not calling him to pick me up.  He didn’t even realize I lost my cell phone.

“Look, I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster, thanks for coming ‘big brother’ but I am tired and just want to sleep.”

“You are a brat, Audra. Do you realize how many people were worried about you?”
“Feeling angry at myself I deflected my fury back on him shouting f*c* you and the white horse you rode on.”

Before I could register his disapproval John grabbed me and tossed me across his lap. He began smacking my rear end with fast and furious spanks that at first shocked me into silence. Soon however the pain radiating from my bottom resulting from the continuous application of his hard hand had me shrieking for him to stop.

“Stop you jerk!”

“Not on your life!” his response was accompanied by his next action pulling down my pants and underwear to bare my bottom.

“You are spanking me because Ray is an ass!” Shrieking and kicking my feet wildly I tried to escape the punishment.

“Not even close to the truth,” Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! I am spanking you because I told you to call me. Lisa told you to call me.  Many of your friends offered you a ride home. You lost your temper and made more than one foolish decision that could have ended tragically.”

He then proceeded to describe each and every self -serving decision I made which put me in danger. He didn’t stop spanking until I thought my bottom was ready to fall off.

“Why was taking a ride from me so abhorrent you chose walking miles home in the rain alongside a corn field?”

By this time I was cuddled close to him crying on his chest, embarrassed and feeling a bit guilty for making so many worry about what happened to me. Reaching back I rubbed my aching behind trying to alleviate the awful sting.

John kissed me and I kissed him back. This was what I wanted all along. I was crazy about him.

I looked up, and said, “was that a real kiss or a friend kiss?”

“What does it feel like to you Audra?”

“Real” I sighed.

John looked at me saying, “I was waiting for you to develop feelings for me. I don’t just want to be friends.”

“Oh John we wasted so much time, and I got spanked for no reason. If only we had talked like this. I only dated Ray because I felt like you saw me as a little sister.”

“Well  Audra about that spanking, honey I am a spanking man, so if you act a certain way you may find yourself across my knee again. Can you accept that?”

Sitting on Johns lap ensconced in his warm embrace I said “yes,” after all, this was such an unusual occurrence. I didn't believe I would ever find myself doing such a foolish thing ever again.


Thanks for reading!


Minelle