Anastasia Vitsky is hosting the Spanking romance round table discussion discussion this week. I thought I would join in. The topic is interesting to me. What about you?
Fantasy versus reality as it pertains to spanking.
Reality is the state of things as they exist.
It's what you see, hear, and experience.
Fantasy is an imagined or conjured up
sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.
I often
think that in indulging our fantasy we understand what we desire more in real
life. Using our imagination we can make everything turn out perfectly. Many
successful people visualize the life they wish for. Is that unfulfilled fantasy,
or a way to create a more joyful life? We are often told to live the life we
wish. If we are sad the advice is to fake it until we make it. Is that
fantastical thinking? Maybe it is embracing the fantasy to create a more
satisfying reality.
Most of our
life we envision the future we will have.
ie… When I am this age I will do or have this…
“This” will be my career….I will marry…or not…have children….never have
children.
What about in spanking…TTWD….DD?
Spanking in
romantic relationships is/was always a part of my secret desire. I often fought
that wish tooth and nail in ‘real life’ and yet indulged my need in books
creating stories and dreams.
My Scotsman
is a spanker, but it isn’t really a DD relationship. In Our TTWD there is a bit
of reeling me in, irritation when I do things that are dangerous, stress relief,
and erotic spankings.
It isn’t
always like the stories. Sometimes it is. Fantasy is different from reality.
What is helpful is recognizing your relationship, who you are together and
separately.
Sometimes it is like
this:
Spankings
filled with frustration, impatience, and dissatisfaction.
Me: “No I don’t want this now, I am not in the
mood!”
“Wait! That
hurts”
“Sheesh what
a wimpy smack!”
“
Ooops!”
Him: “ENOUGH!!
Put your legs down, move your hands.”
Me: Not
saying here!
Other times it is like
this:
Spankings
filled with resolution, laughter and closeness.
Him: “Let’s
go into the room and have some fun….”
Me: “ Sigh.”
*Smile*
Him: “I
think you need some stress relief.”
Me: Like a
balloon slowly releasing air as all the stress leaves my body…
For me it is okay that it is not always perfect. That is real life.
I think fantasy is perfectly natural
and can bring us closer and enrich our lives. The problem is when we trade
fantasy for our reality. That can be harmful.
I love the realism that you bring to this discussion. As Maren said in her post, real-life spankings are rarely as perfect as we would wish. As Casey said, sometimes we edit out the tedious details to make a better story.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget your complaints when you get smacked more on one side than the other. Picky Minelle!
That is true. Real life and fantasy collide. I hate being uneven!
DeleteNice post, Minelle
ReplyDeleteThank You Sunny!
DeleteOh, Minelle. I love the comparison there at the end between the irritation and the sublime. I can't tell you how many times I've thought about what it would really be like if our fantasies were actually real and happened the way we imagined. You have a wonderful man in your Scotsman. Reading this has got me thinking maybe it's a good thing we live in the real world, because I honestly think I'd have a hard time staying with any of the dominants I write about. lol
ReplyDeleteOh yea I hear you on that! I think it is important, to remind ourselves that fantasy is different!
DeleteYour last paragraph sums it up. Fantasy is a wonderful escape....sometimes it plants a seed. But we live in reality most of the time....and comparing the two is not always beneficial.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I agree and it can make us unhappy if we allow it to take over.
DeleteNot too sure about the "balloon releasing air" - if I told Dan that he would go into convulsions!
ReplyDeleteI think we all have fantasies that we secretly hope might become realities. Or sometimes we are too busy with reality to fantasise. Glad you are still getting your "just desserts", Minelle. How sexy is that!
Hugs
Ami
Oh yes---- busy!
DeleteWho said I was getting my JUST DESERTS?
Why would Dan go into convulsions?
Hi Minelle, what a lovely post
ReplyDeletelove Jan.xx
Thanks my dear!
DeleteThis made me giggle:
ReplyDelete“No I don’t want this now, I am not in the mood!”
“Wait! That hurts”
“Sheesh what a wimpy smack!”
“ Ooops!”
I have done that very thing all too often with SM. Sometimes I throw
in a bad word too you know, to make sure he gets the point and
spanks me good. Other times... well I want to run for the hills. Funny
how things work that way. :)
It cracks me up when things are not perfect...and frustrates!
DeleteRunning for the hills....
Do you remember the holo-deck from Star Trek? I was a computer program where you fantasied something and suddenly it was there - everything in perfect detail. Were that to become a reality and I were to try it I'm afraid it would be the same as trying a combination of cocaine, heroin and Ecstasy combined. I would be hooked and need serious rehab!
ReplyDeleteLOL...Totally believe that for many of us...However I wonder if our butts would feel it for awhile???
Deletenice post...fantasy and reality can be intertwined but it is the reality that is most special because that is life... hugs
ReplyDeleteReality is certainly special! Life is special.
Deletelove you two types of spankings :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Joelle!
DeleteGreat post Minelle, the reality is different from the fantasy and I like what you said about recognising your relationship. I love your last paragraph!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
Believe me I am not always perfect...I just feel it is important!
DeleteThanks.
Excellent point, Minelle,. Thanks for pointing it out. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Sadie
You are welcome. Thanks Sadie!
DeleteMinelle,
ReplyDeleteLoved your post, especially last paragraph.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Thanks Ronnie. I guess that was probably the only thing I needed to say, since it sums it up.
DeleteGreat post! I also have to laugh when life does not line up like fantasy.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have a great relationship with your Scotsman. I always fantasize about what it would be like to be with a spanker. My husband is not a spanker, I make him do it. Okay, maybe not make, cajole? Ask nicely? Beg? He complies though :)
Even spankers go through dry periods...and then rev up when you least expect it!
DeleteYour husband sounds great if he does it for you even if it isn't natural!
Hey Minelle...very lovely post and the last paragraph...perfect!
ReplyDeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
PS...ya still need more barn burners than what you get. ;)
Thanks Cat! Although not about your comment saying I need barn burners.
DeleteA nice stress relieving regular spanking....
I am one of those odd ducks who doesn't fantasize much about spanking. LOL, poor me...I just have the reality. What strikes me as funny sometimes is how quickly I forget how much it hurts. I'll work my way up to a monster of a spanking thinking that if it is going to happen anyway, I might as well keep on poking the bear.
ReplyDeleteI think I might be better off developing a good fantasy life. :)
I forget it hurts too Susie! LOL
DeleteI was just trying to come up with a fantasy for you....LOL
Cool post, Minelle! I love how you describe the sometimes-great and sometimes-not-so-great nature of TTWD, and remind us not to lose sight of what matters. I should have that on a poster in my bedroom.
ReplyDelete