Trust

Grief is funny. I felt great sadness when I lost my mom. However, I knew she was in a better place. I had grieved during the long slow decline that is Alzheimer’s. That may sound trite and dismissive, but when you see someone suffer so….it is a blessing. 

Lately though, I wake wanting to speak with her, reach for the phone to share a moment of fun or have a discussion on some topic. I find myself experiencing the loss in ways I never expected.

A few weeks ago I was at church with Dad and my Scotsman. During communion I was watching everyone go up to receive. Nothing in particular was on my mind, I often look around and watch people, smile at children or parishioners I recognize. There are moments of reflection as I kneel, but my mind wanders and often the artist in me looks up at the windows and appreciates the colors and images in the cut glass. Either my Scotsman or I will take one others hand and softly caress the skin for a moment. I love when time slows and we can be in the moment with each other.

We sit in a pew close to the Priest. This particular Sunday I looked up just as an older couple approached the Altar together. The gentleman gently and lovingly guiding the tiny lady at his side. She turned toward him unsure of herself. The initial look of fear, sigh…such a trigger for me. He whispered softly in her ear. Together they stepped closer to the priest as she raised her hands for communion. The moment I saw this my P reached for my hand and whispered, “Are you okay?” I was completely choked up, tears brimming in my eyes.  How was he so in touch with me that he clearly intercepted that fragile, poignant moment? He knew. At times we are connected tightly as if one thought. 

I watched my mom so many times look trustingly to my dad for answers that she had long ago lost the capability to retrieve solely due to the ravages of Alzheimer’s disease.

I have been thinking about trust a great deal lately. So much has been written I am sure my thoughts are nothing new. Trust takes time and experience to build. We must work on being vulnerable with our partners. It is important to allow them to care for us with confidence, embracing-- while believing they are committed to, and concerned about us and our best interest. That doesn't mean there aren't mistakes in our commitment to trust. We are all human and make LOTS of mistakes. It is important that when we fail we work together to build it up again.

TTWD at its heart is about trust. It doesn’t matter if you are having fun with spanking or seriously embarking or have always had a Dd relationship. Building trust is of utmost importance. We must communicate and confide our needs to each other, over and over again. We have to have faith our partners will meet these needs. It may be necessary to allow for failure many times. Trust.

I am not perfect nor is my Scotsman. We ramble through life with ups and downs just like everyone else. I can be a witch… he a bellowing man. We both make mistakes and may hurt each other. However, I truly hope to build on our trust so that we can look lovingly to each other for the answers when needed.

I now happily watch for that couple and try to smile. Love.

 

This is Minelle’s Scotsman. As I was reading over this post tears came to my eyes. You have to understand what a wonderful loving woman my mother-in-law was, and to see this older couple caring for each other, I knew just what my darling was feeling. We knew what this couple was going through and how it will end. Even knowing this their love for one another was beautiful to watch.

Thanks for reading,

Minelle

Happy Birthday to Cat!

                                     Happy Birthday Dear Cat!!

                                         

  We are all lucky to call Cat our friend! 

She is always there to share a joke or a pleasant thought!

Many times she can be counted on to offer a word of advice or a note to cheer us up!

She may even suggest the ever dreaded words "You need a barn burner!"

She shares her heart with us so join me in a wish!

WE

Just in case you were wondering........

    PLEASE HAVE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY!!

My Turn at Ella's Meme!!

Our very own Ella's Creatively penned Meme!

1. Take a look at the walls in your home.  Which picture/object is your favorite and why?  Bonus points if you post a picture!
If we are speaking of photographs, then I choose pictures of my Scotsman and our children! I adore the ones when they were wee mites! If you mean paintings or such than it is much harder to choose! I have pictures of my art work all over our house so it is hard to choose since all my work is part of me. Wait! I have a friend who sent me a picture and I look at it every day! See below a beautiful picture from Cat! 

2.  What is/are your favorite perfume(s)? I love Ysatis, and Pleasures.

When I was in my mid 20s I backpacked around Ireland, England, Wales, Scotland and France. When we were in France we went to a perfume store and purchased a memory perfume as a souvenir. I chose Ysatis. My Scotsman still loves that perfume, since it was the scent I wore when we met. 

 3.  How many pairs of shoes do you own?  Have you ever hidden new shoes from your spouse? Shoes are not my passion. I do like them of course! I always like boots in the winter and have several pair. In the summer I wear a few favorite shoes for summer and dress. I guess I have around 25 pair. No I have never hidden shoes. Other things....?

4.  Snacks - Sweet, Salty, or Both?  If you could choose 1 snack, and it magically had no calories, what would it be? Salty is probably my worst temptation. I love good tortilla chips with guacamole and salsa. However if there are flaming hot Cheetos in the house I will eat the whole bag!!

5.  What are your favorite cut flowers? My FAVORITE flowers are Lilacs and Lily of the Valley.

6.  Without using a real name, describe one person in your life with whom you have a hard time being patient. I think I am a very patient person most of the time...HOWEVER....my bosses come to mind!

7.  What food do you love that your spouse hates?  What food does your spouse love that is "yecch" to you?  I love Indian food and my Scotsman isn't as keen on it. I do not like the idea of Black Pudding, (Blood Sausage to me) and my Scotsman would travel far and wide to imbibe!

8.  What is a song you associate with meeting your honey? Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order. We danced to that song so much in our early years. I know we would still bounce on a dance floor if we both heard it!

9.  Do you have a favorite movie that you like to watch every few months or once a year? If I see McLintock, I watch it! However I love Mama Mia and hubby and I watch My big Fat Greek Wedding over and over! He says It reminds him of my family! LOL

10.  What collection(s) do you have?  How did your collection start?  (Add a picture if you like.) I love Christmas ornaments.....

11.  Where would you like to go on your next vacation?  Is there somewhere else on your Bucket List? It goes without saying that we would love to visit Scotland again.  My Scotsman would love to go to Australia and I would love to make that happen! Our dream is to retire and travel like our very own Sunny in an RV across America!

12.  If you could only buy clothes at one store, at what store would you shop? Sheesh this is hard. I guess it would have to be a store where I could buy decent clothes at a reduced price....

13.  What gift(s) from your spouse have been the most loved and appreciated? The gift of his love comes to mind first. From that love our children. He is the most loving man and is never embarrassed to express it and have tears come to his eyes when conveying his love for me. He is a big burly guy and I feel blessed.

14. Name one item of your spouse's clothing that you would love to throw away. His grass cutting shoes!

15.  What is the submissive action (or inaction) of which you are most proud?  Gah! I was scared to answer this question since I fail miserably keeping my mouth shut! I am quite the self righteous wife at times. I am a terrible back seat driver. That alone has earned me dire threats upon my backside and smacks galore.....However a friend reminded me that being submissive can be actions shown to express your love without conflict.   

I love to cook serve my guy his meals all day long. He is a great sous chef, but DOES NOT COOK AT ALL.  I know it is very traditional but it truly is my pleasure! 

Thank You Ella!! 

Thanks for reading!

Minelle 

Menopause = Bravery Pills

I thought I was in menopause a few years back. I would love to smack that woman and laugh at her THEN idea of this .......


IN REALITY

Cataclysmic Event!  

Most of the time I am pretty respectful and kind.
I love my husband and enjoy being around him. Seriously. I know I am a bit high strung and feisty. However, in the last few months menopause has caused me to take what my Scotsman refers to as BRAVERY PILLS.  Ahem...yes....yes I do test the waters and often JUMP RIGHT IN! 

Lately though, I do not just put my big toe in.....Nope, this lady takes a giant running leap and 'cannon balls' right on in!

Let me interject a moment....Sometimes  my man can drive me bonkers. He doesn't always do what I think he should. Nor does he always pay attention when.... I BELIEVE he SHOULD!

Just so you get a clear picture.....
Recently I was upset with what I perceived was indifference to something I had fretted over. He did not walk in from work and immediately ask me what happened.....(terrible huh?)

I saw that as a testament of his lack of connection to my life. 

See where this is going? 

We had words... but he began asking the right questions.

The pills I had just popped..(Bravery)..allowed me to thwart his every attempt at being supportive (EVEN IF A BIT LATE)

I just remained on my phone....after he TOLD me to get off my phone--- and later he ordered me to... 

GIVE him said phone.

 I said 'NO.'

Well, he was not happy. He confiscated my phone and also smacked my behind. He did give me my phone back.

Forward wind...another time.....

He made a phone call to accept a dinner engagement...that was misunderstood. 

I DID NOT WANT HIM TO CALL..... I thought it was too late...to go for the specified time. We had been invited but were going to get an update as to time etc.....it didn't come....so I didn't want to embarrass this person.

He called and said, "all is well, no problem going!"

Now my oldest child ego took a handful of those 'Bravery Pills' POPPED  them and loudly proclaimed my annoyance.  

That was bad enough.....

However a side effect of those pills was me....

Wagging my finger and scrunching my red face at a shocked hubby. 

I was a little too close and Over I went across my Scotsman's Knees. He was just a TAD upset. My lower legs actually went up trying to protect my bum.... He quite determinedly said to put them down....After a bit, he could hear a smile begin to break as I realized my menopausal craziness and he let me up.

We had a lovely dinner! (Smile)

Now on to tonight....I came home from work. I was exhausted. He had been working in and outside the entire day. I took a nap all sweet and angelic.

Waking up I downed the entire bottle of 'Bravery pills' and cooking dinner began a snarky encounter with my man.  He was trying to be goofy and jokey....I was in the mood to poke the beast.

Maybe I OD'd on those pills because I responded to his threat of spanking with rolled eyes and.....

Crazy menopausal me...said, 'NO YOU WON'T.'

Things happened a bit fast.....LOL.

I was frog marched to our bedroom and upside down in seconds flat. He was slightly upset. Actually said HIS HAND hurt! Hmmmmmm.... I think my bottom was the loser in that encounter.  

The funny thing is.....We are absolutely fine! The spanking (s) helped as always. I know most of you get much harder spankings.....But when my Scotsman 'skelps' my behind, It rights my mood. He also feels better. 

However I am not refilling those Bravery Pills soon... :-)

Thanks for reading,

Minelle