Do you feel
sexy because you’re spanked, or are you spanked because you feel sexy?
Some of you
may word it this way:
Do you feel
loved because you’re spanked, or are you spanked because you are loved?
Strange
questions you might say.
Can it drive
the energy in your relationship when new to you?
Once you feel a draught in the dynamic, you
can question how the circular reciprocity of TTWD/DD affects your psyche.
No the sky
is not falling…… just observing what happens when you are not able to manage a
liaison with the one you love.
Alone time can make you very productive and it can teach you patience.
However the fun is missed!
What about
you?
Thanks for
reading!
Minelle
Thank you for acknowledging that not all of spanking is about sex! :D So I will answer the second one.
ReplyDeleteWhen it is a punishment and you are waiting for it, it does *not* feel like love. But when it is over and there is forgiveness and resolution, it certainly does.
And while it may be much harder to feel that love in the absence of your partner, the greatest act of love is to give trust.
Except you really just want them back. Now. :)
I completely acknowledge that this TTWD is different for each and every person. There isn't a one size fits all experience or instructional manual. However you brought up the emotions of love trust, forgiveness, and resolution,those for many, are pretty essential.
DeleteAnd yes to your last statement. I am fine alone but...
Good questions, Minelle. I have no idea what the answer is. I think it's probably different from person to person and day to day.
ReplyDeleteIt is tricky to manage a relationship when you don't get to spend as much time together as you'd like---I'm sure you'll figure it out---and then tell us all about it. :)
The great thing is that for us we are never stagnant. Things are always changing. Schedules, work situations etc. It makes us, and particularly me--- exceedingly adaptable. I think that is a positive.
DeleteMinelle, you have some difficult questions.
ReplyDeleteI spank because I love. Sex and Punishment are secondary at best.
Yes, it drives the energy in our relationship.
Actually, I would not care about falling skies when I could not manage this laison.
Alone time is fine, but only with the promise of fun things later.
I feel Ana's pain.
I like how you think Bas. That energy is so compelling. I feel like a new kid sometimes. The sky doesn't fall it just changes from day to day. We are fine. It is nice when we can be together and great.
DeleteWhat's Ana's pain?
I feel sexy when I am spanked. I also feel loved. And, my husband loves me and is glad to connect with me this way. Often it leads to sex, but not always.
ReplyDeleteAlone time is always good for relection! You can also use to plan for a fun time when you will be together again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
I am definitely planning. Although we are not certain when that will happen. I enjoy hearing how everyone handles "this question" so individually, yet there is a glaring theme and it seems to be yes to both.
DeleteYou as well!
This is the tree falling in the forest thing.....
ReplyDeleteWell Minelle,
I feel soft because I am spanked...and sexy because I feel soft. I think it is about the kind of spanking. Sexy spankings make me feel aroused and sensual. Punishment makes me feel compliant and soft which eventually makes me feel loved and by continuation sexy.
Oh my GOD - I am a spanko!!
Lillie, you doubted that after the big O. You are too funny.
DeleteOh I like the tree falling in the forest analogy. How about the existential thought that what we see may not actually be there as soon as we turn around? Sorry I digress.
DeleteI agree that it is the intent and the feelings aroused.
I do not think being a spanko takes away from a true DD dynamic since many have stated they are spankos but hate punishment spankings.
However I agree with sunny that you are! *wink*
Maybe it depends on the spanking and the day...intersting food for thought, but then I end up overthinking almost everyting. Think I will just enjoy that it happens.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
As you may have noticed I too over think many things. There are times when I should have thought more clearly and didn't. I guess it all evens out in the end. I agree with you that it has to depend on the circumstances. Having a good time or even just being in the experience is what matters.
DeleteBoth, yes, I function well enough alone and yes I'm glad when he's back. Does that do it for you? Will email you later about 5 2
ReplyDeleteYes I absolutely function perfectly when I am alone. I have had to many times. I do feel that when you are able to concentrate on the 'fun' the energy is great. Yet when a drought occurs it is maybe ....energy fizzing.
DeleteThanks for the email!!
Hi everyone! I am having trouble replying to comments. As soon as I figure out how to do it- and make sense- I will.
ReplyDeleteAna's computer stills are put to good use with this kooky tech---NO.
Spank Blogger!!! And then go put yourself in the corner.
Delete*feels very safe because you can't reply to comments*
Anastasia,
DeleteWhat did I tell you about being nice to Minelle?
I can reply to comments. So Beware!
Ana!!!! Now you must have fixed this...he he- you super woman.
DeleteBas you tell her!! She only gets compliments from me. *wink*
DeleteOh no!! Of course the minute I think I'm safe, Blogger helps you both!!!
DeleteEek!
As it should be!
DeleteEek, "Anastasia"? I have to take down my full name so no one can call me that...I jumped!
DeleteAnd I *am* nice to Minelle, Bas! I am giving her pageviews and site traffic and comment count...really! So no more scolding from either of you.
Or I'll call out FTM to deal with you both!
Yikes,should I be scared!
DeleteYou should. Now if only I could find FTM...she won't return my calls.
DeleteInteresting questions, Minelle. It depends a lot on the type of spanking. For all but punishment spankings, they make me feel very sexy. I have never given, and never will, a punishment spanking, but I've seen first hand the tremendous amount of love it requires. My submission to all of them, is a gift of love on my part as well.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't even considered that when I asked those questions. I think it must be very difficult when punishing someone. And the reciprocal love has to be conveyed to really work in that situation. I like how you wrapped them together.
DeleteThe sexy component is much easier to understand.
Very interesting post Minelle. I felt loved when I was spanked and I was spanked because I was loved. Experiencing that intensity of love made me feel sexy. There are times in the past 8+ months that I have felt that the sky was falling since I will never be able to liaison with the one I love again.
ReplyDeleteCat I am so sorry, I hope you didn't feel I was being trite.
DeleteI would never wish to make light of any pain or sorrow.
I was just working through some thoughts that popped into my head.
No Minelle! Not at all! I didn't feel you were being trite or making light of any pain or sorrow. You can't write a post that fits all situations! Sheesh woman, are you supposed to check with each reader to see if a post impacts them before you publish it? :) You do not owe me any kind of apology. I apologize if I made you feel bad over a really nice, thought provoking post.
DeleteTake care,
Cat
Now don't you feel bad, now I'm going to worry you won't share because of my over worrying.
DeleteI am glad it was okay.
Ok, neither one of us will feel bad or worry and we will each keep posting what we want and commenting on each others blogs. Deal? ;-)
DeleteDeal!:-)
DeleteCat, I tried to tell her the same thing but would she listen to me? NO.
DeleteThe answer to your question? Both, yes and no! Reciprocity has become my favorite word since I used it in a post earlier this year, it is rather the perfect word to describe TTWD.
ReplyDeleteThough I'm afraid alone time makes me rather morose. I miss him dreadfully when he has a 4-5 day mission, or during deployment. I am not very good with patience.Thankfully Ward has much patience with me :)
Good answer.
DeleteI too love the word reciprocity. I think it describes perfectly ANY good relationship. However there are times when the balance is off and someone needs to be stronger, In each part of the dynamic.
It is great he is patient.
It should, shouldn't it? And it's sad that it doesn't. I tell my 'nilla friend who knows that we are DD, it should be the basis for any relationship, communication, respect, deference and compassion...she doesn't get it, lol.
DeleteYes, definitely there are times when the balance is off, if it's me, Ward certainly knows how to take care of it, and if it's him, I'm willing to take one for the team :)
Really, that is how I was raised! That is what we should strive for.
DeleteI'm not sure how to answer this at all. I feel loved when I'm spanked and I'm also spanked because I'm loved. And those both apply also to punishment spankings. ALL spankings make me feel sexy, yes also punishments. It's not something I can control. My head may not feel sexy, but my body sure does lol!
ReplyDeleteAnd when circumstances change that don't 'allow', yes my sky falls in completely :)
Dee x
I enjoy reading that even those who have both erotic and punishment still feel the sexiness, and of course the love.
Delete"my head may not, but my body does." that is a great description.
The sky thing.... well it certainly is challenging, right?
Mh, I think I feel sexy because I get spanked! Definitely!
ReplyDeleteYea, I think that is so true. Especially if it is of the erotic variety!
DeleteThanks for stopping by.